We don't have time for 1000 words, so here is some pictures

Fun in the casita (Claire attempting to dance off the biting ants)

Still in the casita without the gringos

Soccer practice with the Playing for Peace program

Spanish improving greatly, computer skills plummeting

This may or may not explain our newly developed stomachs

With our good friends and neighbors after learning to cook empanadas

Our good friend Kevin working in the artisans workshop

The casita is a big hit

These are the days in the library we are going to miss so much

Even the mom's come for fun in the library

Ana Ruth, her otra niña Clarita and our other good friend

Talking about life



These are just a small glimpse into our life in El Salvador, each picture has a story and we have many more pictures, we look forward to sharing them with you all upon our return. We wish we could share more right now but we just do not have the time. With less than ten days left we are trying to make the most of every minute but we have realized there is no avoiding the end. The other day we were talking with a friend about leaving and as we all saddened Claire and I tried to be positive by saying we still had a lot of time. Our friend responded "date paja". Which means "lie to yourself". Right now we are lying to ourselves because although we are excited to see our family and friends back home, we are not ready to leave our friends and family here.

It's been a long time

Wow, it has been some time since we have posted. We have been extremely busy and have not had the time nor energy to write a post.

But we want to let everyone know that things have been overall great! We are loving every moment in Las Delicias. Our relationships have grown quite strong and we have a pretty consistent fan club of little niños. We have been doing art classes every once in a while and have been working a lot with the cameras. The kids have loved being able to take videos and pictures. It is something that most kids have never done so they are taking full advantage of the opportunity. They are so excited to share their pictures with one another and with us. We will post some pictures next week.

We have been able to stay in the community a few different nights with a few different families. It has been wonderful to strengthen those relationships, get to know Las Delicias better and to have a change of scenery every once in a while. As wonderful as our time has been, it has been challenging. We are exhuasted and can't quite recharge for many reasons. Like Jake said, every day we find one more reason to stay and one more reason to go home. We are always sweating, we feel too big and clumsy and have eaten one too many tortillas.

But then there are so many reasons to stay. We have gotten to know a woman named Ana Ruth very well. She works in the library and we even spent the night at her home with her family. I met her last time I was here and got close with their family. We stayed at their home this week and had a beautiful night with their family. They graciously welcomed us into their home and even invited us to stay another night in a row. Today I was working on a puzzle with a 6 year old girl named Lupe. I was getting tired but enjoying being with so many wonderful people in the library. Ana Ruth came over and put her arm over my shoulders and simply said "mi otra niña" (my other girl\daughter). It was such a simple act of love but truly demonstrated how close we have gotten to the community. She is one of the 100 reasons that make us want to stay forever.

Take everything with a grain of salt and a peptol bismol - Jake

The last few days here have by far been the most challenging. On Wednesday I woke up at 7 feeling great. Claire and I were planning on visiting Casa De Solidaridad (where she lived last year) and were not leaving until almost 11, but I figured I would get a head start on the day. I woke up and ate a big breakfast and got some things done around the house, by 10 I was sleeping and all my breakfast was in the toilet. I didn’t throw up.

            When it was nearing time to go Claire woke me up and asked if I wanted to join. Not wanting to miss a day I went with Claire to Casa. It was a great time, aside from being pretty sick. I developed a bad fever during the day, which left me with a bad headache and lessened my already weak Spanish skills. The following day at the library was fairly quiet but my poor Spanish and lack of trying to speak continued due to my poor health. I was beginning to become discouraged with my inability to communicate and had felt as though I had taken a few steps back after a decent start.

            Today, Friday, things started to change. I woke up feeling much better and slowly began to eat. Today was the national test day for AIDS and Cristina’s work was hosting a test center. She works for an organization called ContaSIDA, which translates to AgainstAIDS, so naturally they had a pretty large turnout for the test. She invited Claire and I along for the day to help out. Although the test was interesting and the medical system very foreign to us it was apparent early on that today was going to be a long day. We arrived there before 7 and by 10 Claire and I were looking for something to keep our spirits high. Claire told me, “maybe something will happen today”, pretty vague and simple but as it turns out, she was right.

            Once the test began Claire and I had been split up to work at different stations, she was at the welcoming phase and I was at the exit. Usually I like the challenge of being on my own without any help to communicate, but today I was so exhausted I was having trouble with the simplest phrases. I felt discouraged and useless. Eventually it felt as though people were writing me off as unintelligent and that is exactly how I was beginning to view myself.

Around noon, I was sitting down talking to the other woman who I was working with when a kid, around my age, fell to the ground. He had violently stumbled back and fell into the wall and had hit a protruding facet on his way down. I instantly ran over to help him. He was unconscious and I turned him to his side in order to make sure he did not choke on his tongue. When it happened nobody really knew what to do, they all panicked or froze. I was by far the youngest person working there but I have had a lot of experience with seizers and so I was familiar with this sort of thing. Once the situation was under control and people “unfroze”, a man sat down and tried to roll the kid onto his back. I had met this man earlier; he was one of the top people in charge at ContaSIDA. I tried to explain to him that the kid needed to stay on his side in order to keep from choking but I had no idea what the verb for choking was and even the term for tongue had escaped me. I tried to act it out and found no success; instead I just moved the kid back to his side and said that that was the way it needed to be done. He, and the other Salvadorans all listened. They trusted me. In that moment, even though I could not verbally communicate, I was understood.

This event, although it was small, really helped put things into perspective. There will be times when I get discouraged and cannot fully understand someone or cannot fully express myself, but when I really need to, I will understand and when the time becomes necessary, I will be understood.

(Also, the kid was fine. The facet… not so much)

Some pictures

Welcome Jacobito

We found a beach ball!

Surprise!

Mari in the middle

Marquitos and the caballito

Great picture Marcos

This little guy couldn't stop looking at us. He turned all the way around in the hammock just to stare at the giant gringos. But eventually sleep overtook him and he fell asleep with his face smushed into the hammock netting. His mom doubled over in laughter when she realized he had fallen asleep like this.

Making tamales

Jake is a little too big for this country

Finally found something our size

Chillin' at the palace

Happy family

Los sobrinos

Jacobito (Jake) speaks his mind

This past Monday marked my first week in El Salvador. I have felt welcome here from the moment I was greeted at the airport but now I am really feeling comfortable and am adjusting to the Salvadoran life style. I want to share some with you several moments that have stood out to me in the past 8 days.

When I first arrived I was so excited to take everything in, I wanted to indulge myself into the culture. After a short walk on the beach we met Cristina at the market and it was time to eat. I couldn’t wait to get my first taste of Salvadoran food, on our walk over we had past market after market of outside vendors and all of the food looked so good. As we talk about where to eat I figure we should leave it to the Salvadoran man, Cristina’s brother, to decide. (After all he should know where the best food is right?) He tells us about this other store in which you can see the hot food right in front of you. Sounds good right? That store turned out to be Walmart. Which is in fact where I ate my first Salvadoran meal.

Lessons have been learned… The first day at the library I had gone outside with a group of kids to play this game with circular frisbee-like disks. After the game was over everyone helped clean up except the oldest kid, Rudy. I went inside to recruit him to help find the last of the disks. Not only was he avoiding me but he was laughing at me. At first I thought he was just having fun and not wanting to help clean up but he was REALLY avoiding me. Later that day I learned why. I had been telling him to acompañarme, which means to accompany me. However, in El Salvador it means to have a committed relationship, live together and probably have kids. Turns out Rudy did not want to acompañarme.

Another day we were traveling with Edinielson to houses in Las Delicias to tell people about an organic food project the community is starting. At one house Claire and I learned to make tamales. When we had finished one woman told us that now we were ready to be married. The very next day, when I was at another family’s house with Larry, I stepped on the tail of a cat. That woman told me that I would never get married. I guess I missed my one day shot when I been ready to wed.

And finally the gym. A neighbor of ours had told us he goes to the gym down the street, the next time I saw him I asked to go with him sometime. As of now I have gone three times already. The culture of this gym could not be more similar to ours. The only real difference is the abundance of heavy metal music blaring from the speakers. The gym is essentially a house with multiple rooms filled with weights. It reminds me of my old high school weight room, minus the awful stench. Everyone there is very friendly and the owner of the gym gave me the “friend discount”.  I am curious to see how long my neighbor will put up with bringing the Gringo foreigner to the gym with him but for now all is well and in case we run into trouble I have a lot of macho metal fans to watch our backs.

This entry has been light and fun, I have tried to portray just how great my time here has begun. There have been serious, humbling moments as well and each day I am learning more Spanish. Already I have felt a major improvement in that department. Thank you all so much for the support from home, this experience would not have been possible without it. Hasta Luego.

Empanadas, pick ups and a bit of Spanish

Well I sat down to begin writing this post and the evangelical neighbors began their culto (meeting) that includes loud singing and yelling. The walls are thin and the houses are squished together so basically I am apart of the culto whether or not I want to be. So I will try my best to articulate my ideas as my head is filled with yelling about Dios.

Since Jake has arrived, things have been going really well. Cristina seems more jovial and talkative. I have been able to feel more supported as Jake and I have had some really good conversations to help us both process life here and catch up on this past year. One night Cristina left us home alone so we made dinner together and spent the night chatting about everything. It has helped me to be able to talk about the reality of life here with another gringo.

We have been working hard this past week in the library. We come home at night and tend to be pretty exhausted. I have been helping Jake along with his Spanish. He has been improving a lot but it is tiring for both of us to be working so hard to understand. This week we began an english class with a few of our neighbors. In part to teach them but in part to make some friends. The classes have been filled with a lot of laughter as everyone is making a lot of mistakes but enjoying our time together. We have become good friends with our neighbor Dona Julieta. She is a sweet older woman who comes to our english classes. She comes but with the intention of just chatting with us. Every few days, she makes and sells empanadas (crushed plantanos filled with beans or sweet milk that are deep fried). They are incredible so we have spent a bit of time sitting with her enjoying her delicious food.

I can feel my friendships in Las Delicias growing much stronger. While I was here for 4 months last time, this time I am spending way more time in Las Delicias. I have begun seeing different kids throughout the community who recognize me and who are excited to see me. Different people in the community are beginning to understand who I am as well.

To get to Las Delicias we must take a few buses to get to the community of Arenera. This is the community just before Las Delicias and it is there that we wait for a pick up to reach the library. We stand under the hot sun, looking at a clothing factory while dust gets blown up with each car that passes. We wait with the other Salvadorans for at least 10 people to arrive. We have to wait because the fare for the pick up is $2.50. One can pay the whole amount and just go but most people cannot afford that so if you wait for 10 people its only 25 cents a person. So we wait with the other Salvadorans to experience for a brief moment how difficult it is to leave and come back to Las Delicias. But the most challenging part is there is no rhyme or reason to when a pick up will leave. I have been waiting for 10 minutes or an hour and 10 minutes.

The other day Jake and I went for the first time alone to Las Delicias. We had planned to meet a woman named Sara in Arenera as you never know how long you must wait. We planned to meet at nine and make the journey up together. We arrived before nine as the buses were quicker than usual in getting us to the entrance. As we stepped off the bus there was a group waiting to go up. The driver saw me and said alright lets go. We were herded into the pick up as I tried to explain we needed to wait for our friend. But at the same time I knew those people needed to get home. Some may have been waiting for an hour and well we made 10 so I couldn't say no. As we began the ride up, I tired and tried to call Sara to tell her not to come down. She picked up her phone just as we passed by the bus she was riding down on. Unfortunately it was a bit too late. She had to go all the way back down and wait to come back up.

It has been incredible to feel much more immersed in the community. I love explaining to people who I am and that I am not a missionary or with any other organization. Some don't understand where I came from and may assume a lot of things upon seeing me. But the best part is when we start talking and they realize I can speak Spanish. I can see something light up in their eyes and it immediately connects us, destroying the barriers that were present before. I love speaking Spanish. It brings to life another part of my soul. I feel more expressive and more confident in myself. I can feel myself understanding more each day and my ability to communicate has drastically improved. I am picking up on the Salvadoran lingo...dropping my s' (ma o meno instead of mas o menos), becoming more expressive and learning to tell long, elaborate stories. Spanish connects me to El Salvador and has taught me so much more about culture than I ever would have known. I am excited to continue learning and further immersing myself into such a beautiful place.

Por aquí (Here I am)

I have now been in El Salvador for over a week. I am not quite sure where to begin. Overall things have been pretty good but definitely challenging. I am still working on how best Cristina and I can live together. We have had some fun times together but there have been many challenges as well. Poco a poco (little by little) we will figure it out. It is a good challenge that I am sure I will learn a lot from.

I have been going to Las Delicias for the past few days. Someone asked me where my favorite place in El Salvador was. As I thought about it, I realized that it is Las Delicias. It’s not for the dust or the heat, but for the friendships that I have made there. Today I saw a woman named Ana Gloria for the first time since being back. She came to the window of the library, looked in and simply said my name. I was so excited to see her as I have been waiting since day one to see her again. Our relationship is very special to me. For a while after meeting her, I wasn’t sure that she enjoyed my company. She is a woman of few words and it took a while to build confianza (trust) with her. But by the end of my time, we had become close and she told me how much joy I had brought their family. She brought her son, Marcos, to the library today and after a few minutes we began playing like we always do, laughing and enjoying those precious moments together. They live a hard life that can be filled with stress and uncertainty. But once I saw her today, I saw her face light up and maybe just for those moments that Marcos and I laughed together, was her stress alleviated.

It has been such a privilege to be back and to reunite with so many wonderful people. It has been humbling to see who remembers me and how they react to seeing me for the first time in so long. Whenever I leave somewhere, I always wonder…will they remember me? Did I in any way impact their lives? This is the biggest confirmation a person could get. It has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. To see people caught off guard by seeing me again, or from the genuine looks of joy and love that naturally spread across someone’s face upon seeing me.

Jake comes tomorrow!! I am very excited for him to be here and meet my friends and get to know the country a bit. We are going to begin planning how we spend our afternoons and getting our classes in order. The donations have flowed in and we are so grateful to have such wonderful people in our lives. We thank you dearly and will keep you updated as the project begins this week. Keep Jake in your thoughts as he begins this big adventure tomorrow morning!

Also my family has been telling people that I have bed bugs and just to clear the air I found out its only hives!! Thank goodness because at least there is a chance they will disappear on their own. 

The reunion

Yesterday I returned for the first time to Las Delicias. It has only been 6 months since I have been in the community but it felt like years.

We went for a mass in the library to celebrate the projects of the organization in the community (FUDESCA). A Maryknoll priest who was saying mass picked us up from the entrance to the commuity. He is an older man who has been in and out of El Salvador for the past 40 years. He makes frequent trips to Guatemala so I think Jake and I can hitch a ride with him at some point.

As we slowly drove the bumpy road up to Las Delicias, I could feel my heart pounding and my hands began to sweat. I didn’t know who or what to expect once we arrived. I was sitting in the front seat and as we pulled in a little girl that I know quite well saw me and quickly ran inside the library. I stepped out of the car to feel the immense heat that is always present in the community. I slowly walked inside holding my breath. Ana Ruth, the little girl’s mom, was sweeping the floor and looked up to see me standing in the doorway. She broke into a huge grin and wrapped me in her arms with a great force. Tears sprang into my eyes and I allowed a few to drop. I felt my heart fill with joy as more people kept arriving. Each excited to see me again.

Cristina began showing me the new projects. There is now a chicken coop, a computer lab, more trees and artisan classes. We were admiring the beautiful earrings and bracelets that the students had made when I glanced up to see Dinora sauntering up the small hill at the entrance to the library. I felt my heart jump and began to walk towards her. Her back was turned to me until I had just about arrived to where she was standing. She saw me and embraced me as if we hadn’t seen each other in years. She asked me questions but began ragging on me the first chance she got.

I stayed close to Dinora all morning and she made sure I knew I was supposed to be following her. A sense of peace washed over me as I slipped right back into my place in the community. I couldn’t keep from smiling all day, knowing this is where I am supposed to be right now. 

Safe and sound

I have finally arrived in El Salvador. After a very very long day of travelling or more like waiting.

I stepped off the plane and felt the humidity engulf me and the smell of El Salvador fill my nose. I felt my worries and anxieties melt away and knew I would be okay. As I was walking through the airport, the power suddenly shut off and I knew I had officially arrived. Cristina (the woman I am living with) was there to pick me up. It was so wonderful to see her again and we seemed to pick up where we had left off. I found out the library in Las Delicias FINALLY received the computer donations from Spain. So they now have 13 computers for the students to use. Hopefully we can use these so the students can upload their photos.

My Spanish seemed to come back talking with Cristina as we drove the familiar route to her home. She is working today so I am hanging out in her home, waiting for another woman, Sara to come hang out with me. I think the down time is going to be challenging for me. I am alone with all my thoughts and worries, trying to find the peace and calm within. But in 10 days my brother Jake will be joining me. We will be working, living and spending every moment together. I am so excited for him to come and experience El Salvador with all its beauty and pain. I know I couldn´t be taking on this journey without him.

So I am here, I am safe and I am excited.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in yours sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

The descent

This is a poem that I wrote last night as we came into San Salvador:

Here we go
the time has come
the plane begins it's descent and my heart begins to soar
She will be there
waiting, waiting to bring me back to her home
But how could this be so?
Am I really going to return?
I feel my stomach touch my throat
I think I might choke
choke from the stress pressure and pain
choke like a folk who ain't got a bloke
But I can feel it
feel their love, prayers and thoughts
holding me, guiding me, pushing me
I am never truly alone
They are always here and will be eagerly awaiting my return
This is where I need to be
It's going to be tough, challenging and painful
so be gentle with yourself
You are going to do great, its just going to take time
time to remember, time to understand,
time to find your love burried deep in the sand,
time to find the words,
time to dry the tears,
time to find the happiness that extends from ear to ear.
So give yourself time
Hold the pain and struggle
Know it will get better,
let the tears rock you to sleep
But don't let the pain run too deep
Here we go
The ground getting closer, the people getting realer
Breathe, stress, shake and let it go
Accpet the uncertainty and just open your heart

It's time again

Well folks, as most of you know I am returning to El Salvador. In a matter of hours in fact. This time I am working with the community of Las Delicias to help promote nonviolence. The reality is, this new adventure is pretty unknown. I have some ideas of how parts of it will work but in the end I am entering 8 weeks of uncertainty. A part of me is quite excited to be beginning such a new journey but another part is rather nervous for what the next 8 weeks hold. But I am trying to find a way to accept this uncertainty because as my wise neighbor Kiki said, we all need uncertainty in life because that is what keeps it interesting.

I have received an overwhelming amount of support from family and friends to take such a great leap in my life. It feels like just yesterday that I couldn't make it through a night at a friend's house and now I am going to El Salvador on my own. But I do not feel that I am completely on my own. I know I have so much love supporting and holding me through this new experience. I know this wouldn't be possible without that.

As I prepare to depart, know that I am holding you, my dear family and friends, in my heart. A part of me aches to be leaving you again but I know you will be here, with arms spread wide to welcome me home again.